


Clothes Call

by QueenRisa



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Friendship, Funny, Gen, Humor, One-Shot, Pranks, Silly, and the best kind, cheesy but good cheesy, fashion - Freeform, fashion nos, in all their glory, pure humor, the purple pleated pants, ugly green jacket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 03:57:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenRisa/pseuds/QueenRisa
Summary: We all have our fashion mistakes. Minako just takes them more serious.





	Clothes Call

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This a super cheesy one-shot I once did as an attempt at humor writing. It's silly, cheesy, and overdramatic and that's the point of it lol 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you laugh and enjoy. Tell me what you thought!!

**Clothes Call**

On the streets of trendy Minato, out in broad daylight, in the flashy boutique did Minako Aino find herself hiding behind a rack of silky blouses, eyeing a particular clothing section in the back. She pushed up her designer ( _that were definitely nooooottttt knockoffs_ ) sunglasses on the bridge of her straight nose, and shifted the scarf wound around her head to better conceal her honey-colored locks of hair. No one could see what she was buying today, it was vital that she keep her purchases confidential until the big reveal.

The big reveal that will launch her fashion blog to the elites of the elites.

Ever since hanging up her Love Me Chain and sailor suit, the blonde goddess had taken up the mantle of an avid blogger as a hobby, birthing a fashion advice website that spurred many to create a fashion sense of the gods.

And after this, _ainogoddessoflove_ _.com_ will be the prime site that all Japanese teens will flock to for fashion advice.

" _Watch out Aino-tors! I have some really big fashion discoveries coming up. So big, it will rock the fashion world we live in! More updates coming!_

_XOXO Aino of Love"_

It was all based on one anonymous tip from her inbox that claimed to know the hottest trend that was about to change the fashion industry forever. Of course the blonde fashion blogger had her doubts but conveniently there was some attachments of pictures of said ' _earth shattering'_ trends and addresses of the stores that held the proper items seen.

With most of her tips, Minako was weary and suspicious of such claims but the pictures did the tip justice!

The texture, materials, colors, brands, and just-just everything was so flawless and genius!

So here she was, checking their sources and did she ever need to confirm them! There, at the glamorous store, did she see the sleek jacket that the pixelated picture had depicted in the message. It was even more majestic with her eyes devouring it in real time.

Finally, the annoying, pint-sized of a salesgirl departed from the destined rack of jackets, the concealed blonde noting her poor choice of an outfit. ' _Her color is definitely not mute brown.'_

Inspiration hitting the fashionista, she quickly whipped out her dazzling smartphone.

" _Aino-tors, tip for all! Brown is definitely not a go-to color all the time. Save the poop-color for rich leather or autumn feelings. Besides that, avoid it like the damn plague._

_XOXO Aino of Love"_

Finishing her honest review of the girl's clothes, Minako came back to the mission at hand with a shake of the head: buy the jacket and pants to complete her ensemble of an outfit.

It was all the rage - well it was _going_ to be all the rage, especially when all her followers would catch wind of the blog post, raving about the rich smooth leather material, the lush vibrant moss color, and the soft comfortable feel of the lavender cotton against your legs.

She had scooped out the fashion pieces days before but didn't buy them, needing time to perfect her secret mission without being seen. _After all_ , she had a vast fanbase and any one of them could spot her in public and ruin her big reveal.

Minako slowly made her way through the store, ducking behind racks every once in a while, and popping her head back up to observe the area around her.

No one was paying attention. _Good_.

She had the pieces in her sight and was intent on reaching them, no matter the cost.

 _After all_ , her _20,000_ loyal followers swore by her honest reviews of all clothing trends and were on top of the constant blog updates on her fashion tips, she could not let them down.

Throwing her head in both directions, the blonde finally slipped out from the hidden location (behind a rack of some lingerie that definitely needed to be revisited later) and desperately grasped at the crunchy textured leather. So _so_ rich and squishy and _oh god I can fall asleep with this who needs that date on Friday -_

"Miss were you going to buy that?"

Her body froze mid-movement and she rigidly turned around to the stern looking but small saleswoman from before, Minako internally wincing at the mess of a beehive up-do that was adorned with cheap gold clips.

' _Agh, the brown gets even more vivid when you're in close proximity,'_ she mentally whined, slightly squinting her eyes to dull down the poop brown that made her lunch lurch. ' _And people say fashion can't be a crime. Hello battery and assault to the eye.'_

"Um yes I was," Minako stuttered, fully standing and clutching the jacket sleeve.

"Wonderful," the classic ' _appear nice'_ smile floated to her tight lips again, "I'll just help you checkout then."

"Uh Okay." Wordlessly she unhooked a jacket in her size from the rack and quickly swiped a pair of pants from the other rack as well.

Even as the woman scanned the items and Minako darkly observed as the price increased on the little screen, the red-ribboned blonde was still as every bit enthusiastic.

" _Aino-tors, get ready for a shock of fashion genius for the ages! I'll keep you posted my loves!_

_XOXO Aino of Love"_

* * *

Confidence oozed out of her in every step taken on the sidewalk in her white kitten heels. She wasn't blind to the numerous stares thrown at her and she took great pride in those said gawks. The sunlight bounced off her shiny gold hair and the thick red bow skillfully tied into her - equally conditioned and blown out - tresses.

The love goddess had rolled up her jackets sleeves to fit with the slightly warmer weather in the city, and with an added plus, it looked uber fashionable. She had seamlessly paired the jacket with a simple black halter top that came up to her neck and per her usual signature statement, she had a pop of orange with her handbag that was certainly sharp with color.

This killer outfit could definitely become a regular thing.

Atlas, she couldn't post of the fashion discoveries on her page just yet though. She had to go by protocol and show her ideas to her most trusted critics. Even though they rather were not fond of the constant mini-fashion shows and rolled their eyes at her - _successful!_ \- blog and clothes, she needed to see their honest reactions. Plus they were her friends through thick and thin - and blowout sales.

The Crown was off the horizon and Minako strutted effortlessly to it with a sway of her pant clad hips. She could just picture the reactions of her friends: jaws on the floor, heart eyes, and Rei finally coming to her senses and ending up on her knees to apologize for all the nasty fashion comments she had always muttered under her breath!

Ahhhhh, yes it would be a very well just-desert in the end.

The blonde spotted her fellow senshi in their regular booth in the corner, conversing with sober looks on their facial features.

"Hey why the long faces ladies," she announced when she was just a few paces away from the table. Minako observed a nearly gone milkshake, an orange juice, a root beer, and a glass of water, but she nearly gagged at the lone cup of dark coffee next to Usagi's milkshake. _Clear sign that fashion disaster is here. Well, maybe he'll learn a thing or two about fashion._

When all eyes turned to her however, she was not met with stunned stares and shining eyes, rather their eyes were mirthful and mouths twitched in smiles and suppressed giggles. What in the world was funny to them? Was her hair weird - but it wasn't windy outside? Maybe something is out of place?

"Oh hey M-Mina," Usagi stuttered out while biting her upturned lip.

Ami came in with a more sincere smile that was accompanied by a rose of a blush. "You look wonderful Minako-chan, as usual."

"Thank you Ami." At least the water soldier always had a soft spot for her fashion reveals.

The ponytailed brunette sat on the window side, next to Rei and was currently blowing bubbles into her brown glass. "Mako-chan? What do you think?"

There was a pause in the bubbling and with hesitation the forest green eyes tore themselves away from the _obviously more interesting?_ scenery outside. Makoto's face grew red and wasn't doing any better than in Usagi in the holding-in-laughter department. "Y-you look great."

_Is there some inside joke being withheld from me or something?_

"Minako I must say you are certainly making a statement."

Not exactly what she was looking for from Rei's reaction but it was something, even if her tone was certainly questionable and made her blonde tailored eyebrow rise to the roof of the arcade.

"What's going on with you four?"

A choir of 'nothing's made its round around the tense table of bitten lips and swollen-from-laughing faces. Now she was concerned if maybe there was a new enemy and her friends had been abducted by them and replaced by some makeshift clones and those were the ones sitting in front of her, after all Rei's black hair did look even more brittle and split-endsy, and take into account Usagi's odangos seemed somewhat off, Mako's hair tie color was more blue than green suddenly - _AND OH MY GOD AMI ISN'T READING A BOOK!_

"Hey Minako-san!"

She cringed, it _was_ a natural reflex but she couldn't be any happier to hear the baritone voice call from behind her, probably back from the bathroom. All in all, Mamoru was - _annoyingly_ \- the most logical and common sense individual in their little gang, coming in second to Setsuna. Surely he hadn't been captured and cloned and could help her.

Come to think of it, wasn't _he_ the most captured and brainwashed of the group?

Shaking her pretty blonde head, she turned to greet him and ask what exactly was-

A scream and clatter of a purse on the linoleum floor echoed, along with a few muffled chuckles.

Minako's hands were wrapped around her mouth in sheer horror and shock as she took in the tall, dark college student.

_No._

"Oh my Minako," he joyfully greeted her and she was almost positive that it was the most emotion and happiness she had ever seen enter his handsome face, "You look gorgeous!"

_No….No._

In a blur, he was right in front of her, grabbing at her hands and clasping them into his large ones and she was ready to start convulsing.

"I always knew we were more alike," he teased with a cheerful smile and seeing his teeth somehow made her fear skyrocket. "You should have just told me before, we could have planned days of doing this even! Oh my god, even shopping trips! - I just bought the jacket like last week!"

_No. No. No. No. No-_

"H-How is t-this _possible_ ," she spat as she shook violently and the starch in her legs was about to go.

Her eyes roamed over his chest. The stitching, _the so proclaimed hand stitching_ , ran up in the same places, the structure was built so similar, the leather crinkle sound, and the color - _how could she be blind as to not notice the color of all things?!_ That sickly familiar repulsive, vomit pigment and sham of a green color. It was one she joked about, poked fun about, one she envisioned in her worst of nightmares! It was burned into her mind but somehow she had seen nothing but beauty in the color when she drooled over it at the store and even now when she took pictures in her bedroom mirror-

_No...No.._

This jacket needed to go - she could still save herself from complete and utter social annihilation with her black top and laven- _Wait!_

_NoNoNoNoNoNo.._

Minako paused in her ripping of hands from Mamoru and tearing at the jacket when her indigo hues caught her legs, and then Mamoru's, and then hers again, and then Mamoru's, and then hers again, and then his again and she nearly passed out at the sight of her wearing-

"THE UGLY GREEN JACKET AND PURPLE PLEATED PANTS!?"

An explosion of laughter was heard at the booth but Minako could barely register anything until Mamoru again took her hands tenderly, his midnight blue eyes trying to find hers. "Hey, it's okay. Acceptance is the first step but I promise that you will be let in with open arms."

_NONONONONONONONO!_

"NOOOOOO!" She jerked her hands away from him, trembling at the fact that she had shopped at the same place as Mamoru Chiba, had bought the same clothes as Mamoru Chiba, was _wearing_ the same clothes as Mamoru Chiba! "NO! I DO NOT WANT TO BE LET IN WITH ' _OPeN aRmS'_ INTO YOUR LITTLE FASHION CULT MAMORU CHIBA! OVER MY REINCARNATED SELF'S BODY!"

And thus she ripped off the said green leather jacket, whipped it onto the floor, and took an initiative of stabbing her sharp heels into the material, stomping, jabbing, piercing, slicing up as much of the hideous piece - all while staring deeply into Mamoru's stunned face.

Satisfied with her actions, she huffed, picked up the dropped bag, and curtly rotated on her heel to exit, running her fingers up and down her arms to rid of the repulsive feel that the jacket had left on her bare arms. She needed to bleach everything - her arms, the rest of her clothes, her eyeballs, her credit card for purchasing _such a - such a -_

Minako shivered in complete disgust, flying down the sidewalk.

She will take to the grave the fact that one day, she wore the exact same clothes as Mamoru Chiba - down to the green jacket, black top, and purple pants.

God, since when did she become a fashion disaster, she thought hollowly.

When - _When_ had it come to this?

* * *

The arcade bells rang as the blonde practically threw herself at them to leave, a gawking ebony-haired man and a table of crying-laughing teenagers left in her wake.

Mamoru ran a hand through his tousled hair, dropping the act and his expression becoming serious, questioning, and a hint confused as he braced his hands on the booth's table and leaned forward to the shallow breathing girls. "Okay so _now_ can you guys explain to me why I had to do all this?"

Hysterical laughter met his question and while Rei saved the video on her phone - _muttering about how this is what happens when someone calls her fashion sense chaotic_ \- Makoto slammed her fist down on the table trying to get a hold of herself, his wheezing girlfriend could barely be considered living, and Ami stayed reddened in the corner.

"You-you were so gen-genius with the anonymous tip A-Ami-chan," Makoto choked out, her face frozen in an open mouthed smile.

The bluenette massaged her nose, thinking hard. "We should have never suggested that she find a hobby in the first place."

* * *

" _Important Bulletin!_

_This blog will unfortunately have to encounter a hiatus due to recovery of a traumatic experience. Aino of Love thanks you for the support and sincerely apologizes for the sudden news. More information to come in a few days…"_

* * *


End file.
